The Mugger

Copied this from an email I received:

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown  Savannah  night before
last.
Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m.  E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather
important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you
to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my
jacket.

The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a
reason.

My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as
a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.  She had just bought me that Kimber
Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a
shoulder holster for it that very evening.  Obviously you agree that it
is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head .... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
with that brown sludge in your pants.  I'm sure it was even worse
walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and
wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your
buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done.  Then I went
and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the
gas station, -- on your credit card.  The guy with the big motor home
took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along
with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]  I then threw
your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb
.... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire
driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.  Ma
Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a
little over a day now, so what's going on with that?  Earlier, I managed
to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the
FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess
while he traced your number etc.).  In a way, perhaps I should apologize
for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far
more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.  I wish you well
as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing
issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon,
and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.  Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex

Maui No Ka Oi

Mini-Blog on Maui:  Quick tips for a co-worker making her first trip to Maui last week:

First and foremost, Food:
If you can't enjoy a barbeque in your brother-in-law's backyard you can enjoy these fine establishments.  For some quick local style barbeque, try the Mama's Korean/Hawaiian Barbeque in this strip mall in Kapalua.

Eat Maui Tacos “broke da mouth” style in Lahaina.    For fancy fancy seafood (and you'll pay for it) try the delicious Mama's fish house in Paia.

Don't miss the sunrise at Haleakala.  You can do the bike trip down, but we had a great time just driving up the 10,000' + mountain in the early morning and seeing the amazing sight before driving back down.  Really beautiful.  But wear a COAT!  no joke it's cold up there at 5am.

Golf:  Fortunate enough to golf Kaanapali Kai (not that great), Kapalua Plantation Course (most famous, but overpriced and kind of rude), and Wailea Emerald Course (best experience of the bunch).

We stayed on Kaanapali Beach, and really enjoyed it.  There are several hotel and resorts to visit, and a small shopping center lockated on the beach called Whalers Village.  There is more shopping in Kihei Kalama Village , which is an outdoor marketplace, and the very upscale Shops at Wailea

Be sure to hang out in Lahaina, even take in a Luau if you want.  It's a good spectacle, and it's right on the beach.  And go whale watching and snorkling out at Molokini. 

My Facebook Photo Album from February 2006.  We traveled with the Walters Family and stopped by the Maui Lockes for some family time.

Our Tanzanian Experience

After the six of us arrived in the dead of night at the “Kilimanjaro International Airport” and paying our recently doubled (and undocumented) visa fee of $USD 100 our Tanzanian adventure began. Luckily, traveling with good friends (one of which was born & raised in Dar es Salaam) made navigation and negotiations much less stressful than they could have been. Somewhat defying expectations, the area around Mount Kilimanjaro was quite green and cool, even getting quite cold at night. The towns of Arusha and Moshi seemed to be the base of operations for most Mountain and Sarari tours, and after the ridiculous task of hitting ATM after ATM, maxing out debit cards, calculating exchange rates, and sorting stacks of bills on the table like gangsters, we had our Safari fully funded and were off to the wilderness.

  

First on the agenda was the Ngorongoro Crater. This conservation area is adjacent to the “Great Rift Valley” which runs from Syria all the way down to the Southern tip of the African continent. The wildlife here was amazing, and within an hour we had seen sights that made the entire trip worthwhile. Cheetahs hunting in a pair, and after 20 or so mesmerizing minutes we did indeed see a gazelle become breakfast. It was quite far away but had an immediate and emotional impact on everyone in our group….This was no Zoo. A little later we spotted two lion couples sleeping like giant housecats in the sun, very rare to see two males together and this was a mere 20-30 yards from our LandCruiser. The wildlife here was so abundant it was hard to believe we were there in the “dry season” when the migrating herds are not nearly as overwhelming as other times of year. However, this was the time to see more of the predators and really isn’t that what it’s all about? A lunch stop was uneventful until a local kite (hawk) decided to swoop down and pick a sandwich right out of the hand of one of our travelmates. Back to the truck ladies…..

The Serengeti was truly everything you expect it to be. Within a mile of entering the park we were 20 feet away from a pair of Cheetahs enjoying the shade of a very rare tree. The word Serengeti means “endless plains”, and it was fitting. Things we experienced and learned: No bathroom breaks, Hippo pools are insanely smelly, Elephants are intelligent (sending a lookout to thrash in the grasses while the Herd waited patiently behind), Leopards are selfish hunters (pulling their kills up into the tree to keep the leftovers), and the sound of a pride of Lions chomping on Zebra ribs from 10 yards away is actually quite loud (and smells, and is Awesome). These days in the parks were some of the most memorable travel moments in our lives.

Travel in the developing world is not without its challenges, and along with ATM machine mishaps, cancelled flights, flat tires in the country, primitive ferry boats, mosquitoes, etc. you learn quickly to be prepared to experience a country as it is, not necessarily always as you would like it to be. These are the times when having a group of friends along make everything better, safer, and more relaxed.

After the Safari experience, it was time for some R&R and visiting with friends and family. On to Dar es Salaam, the economic and cultural capital of Tanzania. Here we met up with another Tanzanian friend visiting from Seattle and enjoyed two fabulous feasts at our friends’ houses; complete with meeting dozens of new friends and eating many new and delicious foods (and plenty of cold Serengeti Beer). On to Zanzibar Island where we got to experience the diverse Arabic culture which was much different than the mainland. Exploring the winding city streets and markets felt like I would imagine it to be in Morocco or Turkey as opposed to sub-saharan Africa. The beaches were beautiful, people friendly, prawns and fish delicious, and downtime welcome.

To Michelle, Jayne, Kerensa, Lyungai, Louis, and Peter: thank you for helping make this a wonderful and unforgettable experience.

 In short: Go have a Safari, if it’s not on your bucket list, add it now.

 

.

Aloha From my Happy Place! (part 3): A Hemby_Licious guide to Oahu

Real World had nothing on us.


Reflect with me again to the summer of '95, I'm on Oahu in St Louis Heights, living with 10 other people in a ramshackle luxury home. Btw, in case I didn't mention it, once there I calculated that I could work and stay for 4 months, or not work and stay for 3 before the money ran out. I decided to relax. Here are the bios of my roomies and a few short anecdotes:

Mrs H (Henderson): Mrs H was in her late 60's, was a widow from Missouri, and she was an interesting old bird. Mrs. H liked me because I was a "southern boy who will pay his rent". She kept a fridge in the kitchen with a chain and padlock around it, most assuredly to keep the "others" from getting into her groceries. She left no doubt as to who she thought was in charge, and aside from offering me tripe stew one day I didn't have a lot of interaction with her.

Old Bill (Eleniki): Bill was a generous and gracious guy; smoked like a chimney and had skin you could make a saddle out of. He lived in one of the back rooms, and would fall asleep each night to the blaring sound of old b/w movies on TV that would illuminate the entire back yard. I learned a lot about the locals from Bill, and I really enjoyed knowing him while I was there. Bill was in church the Sunday morning of Dec 7, 1941 and relived those moments a few times in heartbreaking detail. Bill showed me where he used to fish as a kid down around Hanauma Bay by Koko Head He also took me around to meet various family members around Oahu where many decent backyard meals were shared. I also learned that you could buy cheap fish out the back door of the grocery store from the fish monger, though it was mostly scraps. But those scraps fried up with enough soy sauce and garlic on top of a scoop of sticky rice were pretty darn good. The salad? well, Bill's salad was a 1/4 of a head of lettuce (not chopped) with mayo and ketchup on top. Bill drank beer and water, nothing else. "those soda pop drinks will kill you".

Bill was up bright and early every day, would fetch his cups of ice (plastic cups he would fill with water and put in the freezer in the back yard overnight), load up his cooler and sometimes the Micronesian roommates (except the one with a job), and be off in his truck. Apparently like everything else in the Islands, Mrs H's other houses (up Waianae way in Makaha) were in a constant state of maintenance (or disrepair depending on your outlook). Bill and the boys would return home mid-afternoon three sheets to the wind and the stories would begin. I ventured out to "work" with them a few times and discovered it was pretty much what I expected. Sitting in the back of a pickup on a blazing hot day for a traffic filled drive up to Waianae, a few hours of drinking beer out of the cooler and moving rocks around, and then back into the truck for the crawl home in rush hour traffic through Honolulu.

The guys from Micronesia (4 in all) stayed in one room in the "annex" in the backyard. I believe their "alpha cousin" had told me once in a typical backyard bull session that he had come to Hawai'i after he had burned down his old boss' store after being fired. Not sure if he followed the others or if they followed him. Nice enough guys I guess, I ventured out with them a few times. A typical Friday night was to pile into one car, take a couple cases of cheap beer down to Ala Moana beach park, and hit on the Micronesian girls with their baby carriages. The personal property idea doesn't hold a lot of weight with these guys; at first I was a bit put off, but quickly let it go as I would see them at times down in Waikiki or coming back from "working" wearing an Auburn U t-shirt that I had apparently left on the clothesline too long. Also, I began to understand Mrs H's lock on the fridge in her kitchen. After a few disappointingn trips to the backyard fridge, I started buying sandwiches to keep in a cooler in my room.

The other roomates were just here/there. Mary (the schizophrenic Philipino "maid") was an interesting case. I'm not sure how she got there, but she swept...and swept...pretty much that's what she did. I think looking back Mrs H might have had her as a servant and was stealing her social security checks. Just hindsight.... One time Mary "got out" and I came across her at the bus stop on my way out. I followed her onto the bus as she talked about goign to visit "her friend". I'm not sure how much English she was speaking but that's what I gathered. Once we got to her "friend's" house, it turned out to be a Pizza Hut. They did have a lunch buffet so after noting the location, I made sure we got back on the bus up the hill.

So after a few more events and stories I won't get into here, it was sadly time to leave the islands. Bill had agreed to drive me to the airport in his little truck, and I was grateful. With two suitcases, and having to wear a suit & tie as a Delta "non-revenue" passenger I looked forward to the non-bus/cab ride to the airport. When I got to the car, I see that Mrs H is in the passenger seat because she "wants to see me off". Here I am in a suit, in the back of this truck, on the H-1 in the blazing sun (except for the 20 min daily rain I enjoyed in the midst of gridlock), and finally I'm at the airport headed back to Atlanta.

Sadly, Old Bill and Mrs H have both since passed away (confirmed in the Honolulu Advertiser on-line archives) and the house is now being replaced. Sad I didn’t take more pics that summer, but got a few.

For some reason I still loved this place and couldn’t wait to spend more time here. Aloha!!

Aloha from my Happy Place! (part 2): A Hemby_Licious guide to Oahu

Going Local....

So the summer of '95 was a very interesting time in the life of your trusty narrator. This was the first time I had ever been on my own for any period of time. Even in Auburn or Atlanta, there were people I knew, a plan, a schedule of some sort. There was none of that this summer, it was just me on Oahu for 3-4 months; pre-cell phone, pre-internet.

After 3 days in Waikiki, in a strange little 'backpacker's special' hotel on Saratoga (which seems to still be there behind this new monstrosity) complete with geckos by the dozen I figured it was time to find a more permanent temporary home. Took a bus up to the UH campus to search the bulletin boards. A quick perusal at the student union and a pay-phone call later and I was in a cab up to St Louis Heights, to rent a room out in what I figured to be just another normal suburban type home overlooking Waikiki. Wow, I had to soon come up with a new definition of normal.

Here's the rundown on the Shangri-la: Mrs. H (Henderson) ran the place, she was a widow from Missouri in I guess her high 60's, and was pleased to know that I was a Southern boy. Figured I would be polite and "pay my rent" in her words. Her partner in crime was Bill Eleniki. Old Bill was born and raised in da islands, of Chinese and Portuguese (Portagee) heritage. Bill was all local, all the time. He lived in the back of the house, and was a resident boss, handyman, and he had a truck.

Now I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had a bedroom in the "main house". House is kind of a generous term. It used to be a house. Now it was kind of a house with no doors, full length windows open 24/7, three bedrooms, completely stuffed full of furniture from the Goodwill store, with a chain and lock around the fridge. The "house" bathroom which I was privileged enough to use when no one else was around, was plush with velvet paintings of naked ladies, only the finest artwork from Goodwill made the cut. I had a tentative approval from Mrs H to use this facility when I had to, but it was hinted that “the shower out back or in the yard is for shee-shee (#1)”. Yeah, there was a shower out back, along with a couple fridges for us renters.

In this house lived Mrs H in one bedroom, her daughter in another, myself in the third. There was a little old Philipino maid that slept on a couch with an O2 tank and spoke no English. Her name was Mary and I gathered from one of her prescription bottles that she was a schizophrenic. Mrs H’s granddaughter would sometimes stay over at the house on another couch with her infant son. Thousands of geckos and cockroaches went uncountable in my census.

Now the back of the house; this was obviously an “add-on” of three bedrooms of questionable quality. There was a California boy in one, a coke-head surfer who hit the beach at 5am everyday but had apparently screwed his back up too much to work and was collecting a state check. Old Bill had another room in the back, and bathed the entire yard in a warming glow of B/W TV and volume set to “11” until he passed out each night. In the third bedroom, there were no less than 4 guys at a time from Micronesia coming and going. In total there were anywhere from 10-12 people at 1553 Alencastre Street in St Louis Heights (2 with jobs).  Alas, the house is no more, you can see progress on it's replacement via Google street view.

But wow, did it have a view!

Tune in next time to meet my roomies.

The (Almost) 26 hour Olympic Experience

This was a long (but fantastic) day.......Below is an actual recorded timeline of Michelle and My adventures at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics.

T-1 day: Packing up the Bumble.  For those of you unaware, my Ford Expedition is nicknamed "The Bumble" after the abominable snowman in Rudolph.  It's massive, it's white, and it bounces (except for that one time on the 520).

20 February 2010

3:something; Get up, stumble into shower. Got to double check for passports, tickets, and PILLOWS! Can’t forget the pillows! Oh, and then check again for passports and tickets. And again in the car, check for passports and tickets.

4:29 on our way!

5:37 No road trip can commence without the obligatory drive through McDonald’s breakfast. Today’s addition brought to you by Burlington, WA

6:10 Driving through Bellingham; we can see the lights at the ski runs on Grouse and Cyprus Mountains in North Vancouver from here, no joke, an hour away it’s like UFO's in the sky.

6:37 We’re here at the Peace Arch – Can’t believe it, we’re driving straight into the customs booth. This guy is a bit gruff, “when was the last time you were here?” What? No idea, but whatever I told him got us across the border.

7:17 Following our google maps, we find the Bridgeport light rail station in Richmond, BC with it’s parking garage (shared with the River Rock Casino). Perfect back-in spot, against the wall, flat and good for sleepin' later. At only $2 a day, it’s an unbelievable bargain for parking at the Olympics.

8:05 After a short light rail ride, we’re in downtown Vancouver. Skytrain is easy as can be, and at this hour barely requires any standing passengers. Now here we are, early morning sunshine in our faces; what’s next? A quick bobsled run, zipline? How about first things first, where’s the Starbuck’s?

8:50 We discover a Japadog location; there are a couple, this is the restaurant. We'll hold out for the hot dog cart at lunchtime. Saw this on Anthony Bourdain when he was in Vancouver, it’s been getting a lot of press this week.

9:30 Walking, Enjoying the sunshine and the building crowds. The color is out today, flags, painted faces, what a fantastic setting. The exhibits at Canada live area doesn't open until 11 though, don’t think we can stand in line for an hour and a half.

10:06 crepes! OK, tims for brunch, second breakkie, whatever you want to call it. mmmm banana nutella crepe.

10:47 Walk into The Bay; can you believe there is a 2 hr wait just to get into the Olympics store in the Hudson's Bay store??? That is crazy. If this were in the US, every empty storefront in downtown Vancouver would be rented out for the month to sell souveniers.

11:25 Finally make our way to the Olympic Cauldron near the Vancouver Convention Center on the waterfront. Large fences, large crowds, and we’re looking to meet Brian and Terri. This should be easy; Where is the white guy with the Asian girl? Uhhhh.

11:34 It’s the Carlsons! And their friends! BC actually sprung for the international phone call (which means I did too) to find us. Many joyous hugs and handshakes follow, along with the obligatory group photos with the Flames in the distance.

12:14 Japadog Time! I’ll take the #1 please; Kurabota pork, teriyaki sauce, Japanese mayo, seaweed…..Something wrong about this, but oh so right. After finishing this interesting concoction, I was introduction to Fireball! Canadian whisky infused with cinnamon. Yeah, this is good; warms the throat and then the belly. As BC informed me “Tastes like Heaven, Burns like Hell”. A stop at the duty free on the way home may be in order.

1:15 Back on the Skytrain; did I mention how easy this is? We waited on maybe 2-3 trains leaving downtown Vancouver, a total of about 10 minutes. Things are getting a bit more crowded now, downtown starting to fill up with flags, songs, and people people everwhere.

2:03 We arrive at the Aberdeen Station in Richmond A mile walk to the venue, the Richmond Oval. This is a beautiful facility on the riverbank. What an amazing day, when we arrive to the venue, there is a sea of Orange, the Dutch fans take their speedskating VERY seriously. This is going to be fun!!

2:15 The line is now moving, we’re going in! It's all a piece of cake, a model of efficiency, a polite but excited crowd, a beautiful day and a beautiful arena. Can't believe how well everything has gone so far...

4:15 The Richmond Oval is an amazing place, humongous roof beams constructed with reclaimed wood, seating is intimate and close to the ice all the way around. We start with 19 pairs of skaters (actually 37 guys total, one went alone). The guys race in pairs, but rankings are done by the clock. Each competitor gets one run, 3.75 laps around the track 1500m in all. It will all come down to the last couple of groups. The Dutch fans are out in force, with Orange suits, wigs, flags, horns, and beers in hand. There are plenty of Canadian and American fans as well, but it looks like a Tennessee football game in here!

5:50 Shani Davis comes to the line. It’s the last pair, currently a Dutchman is in the lead, Shani Davis of the USA is the pre-race favorite. No joke, in 2006 he became the first African American to win an individual medal at the winter Olympics. “The Incredibles” character “Fro-Zone” is modeled after him and his “Super Suit”. He looks ready, here we go!

5:51:46 Silver medal for the USA; The Dutch fans erupt as the (2) appears next to Davis' name, awarding the Gold to their man. The “recognition ceremony” is nice, kind of like when they used to award the medals right after the events. Now of course there is an opportunity to sell tickets to an “Award Ceremony” so we don’t get to see them get their medals and hear the anthems anymore. Oh well, was nice how they still got to be acknowledged together by the crowd.

6:25 We’re back into the cold night; another mile walk to the Richmond “O-Zone”, following the jovial mostly Dutch crowd.

6:54 Huh, this looks like a high school football field. It is! The Richmond “O-Zone” has food halls, a music stage, big screens showing the games, and the Heineken Holland House!

7:07 HUNGRY! Find a Greek stand in the food tents. Lamb donair for yours truly; Yum!

7:14 Mich ops for the Shu Mai, dumplings, and I add some spring rolls. It’s decent, got something in our tummies anyway. This is a really nice setup, really gets the locals involved and a great place to enjoy watching the games with the community. We stick around for a bit for the short track semifinals. JR Got Robbed! Apollo on to the finals! Should we stay or should we go? This event finished a lot earlier than we thought….we can make it home by midnight and skip sleeping in the truck. Let’s go for it.

8:50 After another short light rail ride back to the Bridgeport station, we make a quick stop at the Casino for a look around and to catch the Short Track final (Go Apollo!). Alas, only a bronze for Ohno and the USA, but a record setting achievement nonetheless (his 7th Winter Olympics medal).

9:15 I like to shop at the duty free shop; Fireball and Absinthe!

9:40 Get into line at the border crossing back to the states. It’s a short line, but as always I pick the wrong one and become infuriated when the other two lanes move so much faster than us! Dangit!

9:53 Back on American soil! 13 min total, amazing! USA! USA! USA!

10:30 Can't....keep....eyes....open. Rest Stop sign, time for a nap in Skagit County. Just a quick nap, an hour or so and we'll be home by 1am. Just a few minutes…..

4:31 Woke up in back of truck. Well, so much for a quick nap. Snoozed for a bit, restroom break, and get back on the road. Btw, what kind of volunteer is selling cookies at a rest stop at this hour? Probably the folks I don’t want to be buying cookies from.

5:42 Another pit stop at Starbucks in Marysville; A chance to get rid of some more Canadian money

6:28 home sweet home. It’s been 25:59 hrs total garage door-to-garage door. Back to bed.

The Hemby_Licious Guide to Seattle

So, happily in response to a request from a friend from back home (Alabama) for "what to do / where to eat in Seattle", I decided to share the long winded email response here. Just in case the question comes up again because I'm too lazy to pull these web pages and type all this over.....

This will serve as the first experimental blog....the first entry in my documented "Observations from the Top Left Corner".  Read, ignore, comment, dispute...whatever.

If you are planning a trip to the great Northwest (aka Top Left Corner), consider spending a good bit of time and hitting not only Seattle, but Portland and Vancouver as well.  All amazing cities with fantastic dining and outdoor attractions.  In this post, I'm going to focus on my new (as of 11.5 years) hometown of Seattle.

SEATTLE MUST SEES/DO:

1. Pike Place Market, Downtown Seattle. Nothing even close folks, this is an authentic, fantastic farmers/crafts market, all local, and most telling; as many locals shop here as tourists. It's a great place to wander, people watch, and most importantly to snack.  The first ever Starbuck's is here with musician's out front (including the legendary Spoonman of Soundgarden fame) , there are lots of other coffee shops/bakeries, food stalls, street musicians, etc. This is really close to and between the Seattle Waterfront and the Downtown retail district which has Nordstrom, Fox Sports, Hard Rock, Westlake Center, Pacific Place, etc.

2. Get out on the water!  Seattle is a water-town.  Lakes, Sound, Rivers, (and Rain) no shortage of the blue stuff here.  There are several cruise tour companies, such as Argosy Cruises, etc. My favorite budget option on a nice day is just to walk on to one of the State Ferries and sit up on the roof deck watching the city and mountains go by. It's only about $5-$10 to walk on and go over to Bainbridge Island which is a nice little waterfront town, but you can just as easily stay on the boat and take the immediate return trip. Good bargain for an hour or two on the water. If you're with kids, Ride the Ducks!

3. Go see a mountain. Other than water, the most obvious characteristic of Seattle is the overwhelming beauty of the mountain views.  Cascades Range to the East (sunrise), Olympic Range to the West (sunset) , and Mount Rainier (aka Tahoma) towers above all to the Southeast.  Both Mt Rainier and Mt St Helen's (yes the same one that blew it's top) are fantastic day trips, but are quite a drive. If you have a few days here and can reserve the time plan to spend a day at one of these peaks.

4. Snoqualmie Falls. Nice peaceful place about 45 minutes from Seattle, huge waterfall you can hike down to the bottom or just enjoy the view from the top.  There is an amazing brunch at the Salish Lodge adjacent to the park (but I'm digressing into the next topic).

5. Lots of other markets, neighborhoods, etc.

Pioneer Square, Seattle's "Old Town".  Lots of great restaurants, pubs, bars, architecture, and home to many of the local art galleries in Seattle.  Home to a monthly "art walk" where folks open up their galleries and studios to the public.  Can get a little sketchy late at night, but during the day and dinner time it's just fine and really interesting.

Ballard Farmers Market, Ballard started as a Scandinavian Fishing town.  Now it's a great neighborhood that still feels like a small town, with a retail core, fun restaurants and bars, and a fantastic Sunday Market.   In Ballard there's also a set of locks that connects Elliot Bay (Ocean) with the local Lakes via the "Ship Canal".  One cool thing about the locks?  There's a salmon ladder to not disturb the yearly migrations!!

Green Lake: Semi-Urban Park with running trails, coffee shops, fish n chips, etc.  It's about 3 miles around, you can run, jog, walk, walg, ride, blade, or just hang out on the grass watching the scenery.

Fremont: Self-proclaimed "Center of the Universe", Seattle's version of the Paris "left bank".  Home to great restaurants, shops, bars, etc. Also has a Market like Ballard's on the weekends.  If you're here for the summer solstice (June 20?), there's even naked bicyclers as part of the yearly Solstice Parade.

Bellevue/Kirkland: Upscale shopping (Bellevue) and lakefront suburb (Kirkland) on the East Side of Lake Washington. This is about 15 minutes from downtown Seattle, an easy drive across the lake via floating bridges.

FOOD:

Now on to the important stuff.  Namely, time to explain how I've gained 30+ pounds since I moved here in 1998.  This is a mix of fine dining, greasy spoons, and everything in between.  Good food done right is independent of menu price and dress code, so I'm just going to put some random places out here based on what our favorite places are at the moment....

1. Steelhead Diner. It's probably our favorite spot in town, and we've become friends of the chef/owner here. It's an upscale diner (affordable, nice menu) located in the Pike Place Market. Phenomenal food based on NW seafood and some Cajun dishes (chef from New Orleans). Just about all his produce and ingredients are purchased from locally, and from the same sources that provide the bounty of goodness to the market.  The best seat in the house is at the "Kitchen Bar", which is just what it sounds like.  You get to sit next to the main service station and chat with Chef and his staff throughout the night.  Also a great way to take a look at the full menu in living color on a plate before ordering.  If it's full or you don't want to be on top of the action, sit at the tasting bar.  No wait for a dinner table and you can still keep an eye on everything happening around you.

2. El Gaucho. Best steakhouse in America, IMHO. And priced like it. If you want to splurge a bit and remember the meal forever, you should go here. This place never fails to impress, from the tuxedo clad waiters to the bananas foster prepared tableside, to the 1940's Shanghai classy feel of the place (think beginning of Indiana Jones but without all the shooting, and with more romantic lighting).  I can truly say that while I haven't been here as often as I'd like (like every week), I've NEVER had so much as a bad bite.  As an option, you could cheat and just hit the fantastic happy hour for the ambiance without the big bill.

3. Wild Ginger. There is one in both downtown Seattle and Bellevue. Pan-Asian food, which is the Seattle trademark. It's a mix of Chinese, Japanese, Polynesian, Thai, etc. and Northwest ingredients. This is a must if you enjoy Asian food at all.  If you don't, you may just change your mind after having the Duck.
3a. As a cheaper option with really good Thai food, try Thai Ginger; Several locations but most convenient would probably be in Pacific Place.  For a relaxed atmosphere with sports on TV and the same food on the regular menu, sit in the bar and hope Jessie is behind it.

4. Red Mill Burgers. Awesome spot (x2) for custom burgers, chicken sandwiches, real shakes/malts, that's right MALTS! made with care and to order. The bacon is stellar, and you won't believe the stack prepped and ready to go.  If you like onion rings, you'll love these. Oh, and no cell phones allowed.  It's just rude, dude!

5. Kauai Family Restaurant. A local favorite for the Hawai'ian ex-pats, and those of us that want a mental escape to our favorite place during the long dreary winters. True Ohana/comfort food such as Kailua Pork, Saimin, Musubi, Loco Moco, etc., served on "Hawai'ian time". If you know what that means, you know to get comfortable and plan to stay a while.  Also, to speak to it's authenticity it opens for BREAKFAST at 9:30am.

6. Quinn's Gastropub. Pub Food, but High end pub food in Capital Hill (this is the fun, freaky neighborhood. It's safe, but very diverse).  Wild Boar sloppy joe = Insanely good.
6a. Restaurant Zoe. Same owners as Quinn's. It's more of a Higher end restaurant in the Belltown neighborhood.  They also have a wild boar dish on the menu, but serve it as a bolognese sauce over pasta.

7. Tom Douglas' restaurants. I would recommend any of them. Most acclaimed is Dhalia Lounge.  He's kind of a local legend and these are really nice restaurants, all in the Belltown area. You can see menus for the places (I think 5 now) on his central website linked above.

8. Pizza: Serious Pie (Tom Douglas) is good, another really fun place is Via Tribunali (grown from 1 to 4 in like 3 yrs), whose ovens have been transported from Italy brick by brick and rebuilt here. My personal favorite neighborhood slice is in Ballard; Veraci Pizza. They also have portable ovens and sell slices at the Ballard and Fremont markets.

9. Chinatown. Should really venture down into this neighborhood for a good taste of Seattle. There are several dives that we frequent, but not knowing how comfortable you would be I would suggest Jade Garden. There is usually a line for Dim Sum (this is the brunch time menu 10-1 where they wheel the carts of food through the restaurant and you just pick what you want off them). The wife's family frequents Sun Ya. A bit less mainstream/touristy, but cheap and filling and they are one of few places down there with parking.

10. Red Hook Brewery / Wineries. In the town of Woodinville, there are several wineries that do tastings and sometimes concerts. Also over there is the fantastic Red Hook Brewery (moved from original spot in Fremont years ago) that has a large equally fantastic pub, does brewery tours, and even shows outdoor movies on the huge deck in the summertime.

11. For spectacular views back to the city and outdoor dining, try Alki Beach or enjoy the patio over the marina at Maggie Bluff's on Magnolia.

12. Other Seattle institutions for fast food, etc. are: Teriyaki (too many to mention), Pho Soup (Than Bros our fav), Fish n' Chips (Spuds, Ivar's, etc.), and Dick's drive-in (cheap burgers).

All this of course is secondary to the best spot in town; my wife's cooking in my own home.  But she deserves to be taken out now and then....

COFFEE:

Now, we have a bit of a reputation up here and I guess based on the hundreds and maybe thousands of dollars I've spent on the stuff over the years this reputation is well founded.  Of course there are Starbuck's everywhere, but to see how it SHOULD be, you really need to venture into some of the smaller local places like Uptown Espresso (which we frequented for 7 years in the first floor of our apt building in Belltown), Caffe Vita, Caffe Ladro, Caffe D'Arte, Espresso Vivace, etc. They are literally on every corner.


OTHER STUFF:

Not knowing your specific interests, there are several Ski Resorts within a couple hours' drive, Golf even in the winter, Kayaking, Rowing, Biking, etc. are all very popular. Major League Baseball (Mariners) and Soccer (Sounders) will be starting soon, with the NFL (Seahawks) back in the fall.  All three are a blast with fantastic outdoor stadiums.

Gosh, this is making me hungry. I think I am going to post this, it was a bit of work!  Now I'm out, the wife just got a new deep fryer and she's making home made potato chips.